That Stupid Murphy's Law
by cakelover2468
Summary: How the Dex Holders managed to survive school, living in the same house, and the irritating little things known as crushes. Oldrival, Special, Mangaquest, Frantic
1. Murphy's Law Has Found Some New Victims

**I love Pokespe Adventures. That is my only excuse.**

**Something to note: I refer to the girl as Blue and the guy as Green. This is how it's supposed to be, and don't try to convince me otherwise, because the official English translation sucks. They even removed parts of the manga, such as when Blue's shirt ripped. So when I read that part in the manga, I instantly started pitying all those who only read the official English, since because they edited it, it made NO SENSE anymore.**

**Oh, and I know I really shouldn't start a new fanfic, seeing as only one of my other ones is finished, but I really, really wanted to do this one. Really. I'm sorry!**

**But I'll stop ranting now. Let's begin!**

It would've been a good morning, Crystal thought, if not for the exploding chocolate.

Gold and Emerald had been…let's just call it _experimenting. _With microwaves. And chocolate. In bowls. Which they'd accidentally left a metal spoon in.

You see where this is going, right?

The resulting explosion had taken out most of Green's room, and the older boy had been extremely close to blowing _them _up as well. Crystal had thought about letting him, but Yellow and Platinum were already attempting to calm him down, and she felt that she had a duty to her senior and junior to help. So she did. And it was probably the only reason Gold and Rald were still alive.

Blue had filmed the entire thing. It ended up on YouTube.

After all the shouting had faded away, and a late breakfast of cereal and milk was dished out, Red strolled out of his room, yawning. He took one look at Green's room, which had been perfectly intact the night before, and asked, looking bewildered,

"What happened?"

And Crystal wondered for the thousandth time why in the world she had agreed to this arrangement in the first place.

The group of friends, hoping to save some money, were all living in one of Platinum Berlitz's vacation homes for the duration of the school year. Since none of them happened to live near the school, and they'd all really wanted to go to it for different reasons, the heiress had kindly agreed. Pros: they could all spend more time with each other. Cons: they could spend more time driving each other crazy.

Crystal personally thought that the cons outweighed the pros. Not that anyone listened. And it wasn't like she had enough money to do anything about it, anyway.

For obvious reasons, spirits were not high as they took the mile-long walk to school that day.

Red's phone rang, and he picked it up. A smile lit up his face as he exclaimed,

"Hi, Misty!"

Yellow stiffened. Misty was Red's friend from back home, and she had no idea what their relationship was like. To be honest, Crystal didn't know either, but she patted her senior on the back anyway, saying in a quiet voice so that Red couldn't hear,

"Don't worry. They're not that close."

Yellow's cheeks flushed bright red, and Crys instantly felt somewhat guilty.

"Is it really that obvious?" the petite girl asked quietly, not meeting her eyes.

"Well, not really," Crystal lied, causing Blue to suddenly have a mysterious coughing fit. An oblivious Red offered her a cough drop, which she waved away. Gold just rolled his eyes at the scene, letting out an exasperated sigh.

While Red chatted away happily to Misty, leaving Yellow to sink slowly into a pit of despair, Ruby and Sapphire continued the argument they'd been having since breakfast.

"Chameleons are _not _green, they change color, so they're legitimately _rainbow."_

"Their _default state _is green! You can turn red or green or blue, but I don't call you rainbow, now, do I?"

"Uh, hello? I'm a human; chameleons are lizards! It's not the same thing!"

"Of _course _it is! You're just an idiot!"

"That's the lamest excuse for an argument I ever heard!"

"_You're _the lamest excuse for an argument I ever heard!"

"What? That doesn't even make sense, you're such a loser!"

"I'm a loser? Ha! I bet I could beat you up in a flash, sissy boy!"

"Oh yeah, well, _I _could kick your butt in an IQ test!"

"Will you two please shut up?" Emerald finally asked, looking annoyed. "Who _cares _if the stupid chameleon is green or rainbow?"

"I do!" they both yelled as one. "Hey! Stop copying me!"

And so began a jinx war.

Silver plodded along, immersed in a video game, and Crystal wondered how in the world he didn't trip and fall when he wasn't even looking where he was going. Maybe it was a gift.

Platinum suddenly spoke. "We have almost arrived, everyone."

"Okay!" everyone who was paying attention chorused. Platinum had much better eyesight than the rest of them, after all.

Crys looked warily from the school building in the distance to her friends, and wondered how they were ever going to make it through the school year. But they had to be able to. How bad could it be, anyway?

It turned out that she would come to regret that thought later. Murphy's Law was one sneaky guy…

xXx

Blue stared at her class schedule, looking dumbfounded. "That can't be right."

Green was also studying his schedule, his expression neutral, as usual. "I assume they made a mistake. It's not impossible."

"Yeah, why do I have the exact same schedule as you? This doesn't make any sense."

"No, it's right," Yellow timidly interrupted. "See, they divide the students into regions. All the students in a region have the same schedule. I'm in Kanto too."

"So am I," Red noted, making Yellow's eyes light up. Blue noticed this and made a mental note to start setting something up. They'd never get together without her, seeing as Red was completely clueless and Yellow was way too shy. Green, seeing the look in her eyes, just sighed, used to her insane plans by now.

"Aw, that's too bad. I'm in Johto." Crystal commented. Gold grinned.

"Hey, Super Serious Gal! We're in the same region!"

Crystal's shoulders drooped, but Blue could see her eyes shining. She smirked. Maybe she could help some of her other friends while she was at it…

"What're you in, Silver?" she questioned. Her adoptive brother shrugged, flashing her his schedule. It also read _Johto._

Emerald, Ruby, and Sapphire ended up in Hoenn, much to Emerald's disappointment (since he didn't have his troublemaking partner, Gold, with him), and Diamond, Pearl, and Platinum were in Sinnoh.

Now that all the regions had been sorted out, Crystal dragged Gold and Silver off to class. Everyone else took this as a signal to leave the area in front of the office as well, splitting up into their respective regions.

Green took off at a brisk pace, making Blue run to catch up with him. Red and Yellow brought up the rear.

"So, it looks like we have Brock for Homeroom. Interesting." Blue commented.

Green didn't reply, as usual. She didn't really mind. It was what made him a good listener. They spent hours like that, with Blue just chattering away or venting, and Green staying silent. Red didn't understand how the arrangement worked, but then again, Red didn't understand lots of things.

They stopped in front of a door labeled with the number 20.

"This is the room," Yellow informed them, nervously staring at the ground. "Um… Should we go in?"

"Well, if we don't, we're going to be late, aren't we?" With this bit of logic, Green pushed past her into the room. Not wanting to be left behind, Red, Blue, and Yellow scrambled to catch up, got stuck in the door, and fell brilliantly into the room.

Everyone stared.

Blue dusted herself off and pulled a bright red Yellow to her feet, leaving Red to pick himself up off the ground. She flashed everyone a smile, skipping to one of the only free seats left in the room, which just so happened to be next to Green. Yellow hurriedly followed, pulling the brim of her straw hat down over her face.

_Well, _Blue thought, _We're here. If Murphy's Law is going to do anything, it might as well do it today._

Murphy's Law did not disappoint, but not to the Kanto group. They were later.

No, it was the Johto group that it started with…


	2. The Art Room Explodes

When the art room exploded in mass of paint, Crystal had only two thoughts upon viewing the scenario:

_Gold did this_

and

_He's screwed._

And so he was. Crystal had been on the soccer team in her hometown, and she could kick like nobody's business. Gold was about to get kicked where no man should ever be kicked by the best kicker in probably the entire school.

_Wow, _thought Crystal. _How many times did I think the word kick in that one paragraph?_

The poor fourth wall instantly shattered, not that anyone cared.

Silver regarded the destruction as calmly as one could while witnessing the complete demise of an art room, which was pretty darn calm. "Gold did this, didn't he?"

"He is _so dead." _Crystal growled, the tone of her voice so deadly that even Silver took a tiny step back. She marched over to a boy in a hoodie who was sneakily attempting to escape, using a group of crying art-lovers as cover.

"Oh, hi, Crys!" Gold squeaked. "Uh, don't mind me, I'm just going to the bathroom. You know, when you gotta go, you gotta go! Seeya!"

Crystal grabbed him by the ear, leaning in so he could hear every single word as clearly as possible. "You. Are. Dead."

Gold swallowed. "I really have to go to the bathroom."

"I will make sure that you will never have to go to the bathroom ever again when I'm done with you," Crys promised. "I will kick you _so hard _that you will _never _recover. _Never."_

"Um… You're pretty?"

Silver just had to facepalm at the lame excuse. He had to. The statement seriously warranted a facepalm. It _begged _for one.

As Crystal dragged a protesting Gold over to the teacher, who looked utterly devastated at the loss of her classroom and was probably going to punish Gold just as bad as Crys was, Emerald appeared.

"That. Was. Awesome," he proclaimed. Silver stared at him.

"What're you doing here?"

"Skipping, no duh. History's boring. This is way better."

Silver shrugged. Whatever Emerald did wasn't any of his business anyway.

"So…" Rald said after a while. "It doesn't look like the teacher's gonna be back anytime soon. Wanna leave?"

Silver nodded. It was getting kind of boring just standing around.

xXx

_With the rest of the Hoenn group…_

Sapphire stared blankly at the teacher, her eyelids sagging. The words on the page of the textbook were blurred and made absolutely no sense to her whatsoever.

_What the heck is popular sovereignty? And for that matter, what's this about an American Revolution? I don't remember any revolutions happening. What in the world is a revolution, anyway?_

She sighed, making a mental note to steal Ruby's notes later. Said boy was actually taking notes, his eyes practically shining with all the new info.

Well, that was actually what you were supposed to do, but it wasn't like Sapphire was going to bother. She could barely read her own handwriting, anyway.

"Who here knows who signed their name first on the Declaration of Independence?" the teacher asked, hoping against hope for any smart kids to actually raise their hand. To her complete and utter shock, Ruby's hand flew up.

The teacher wasted ten seconds just staring at him with her mouth open. He waved it expectantly, smiling brightly.

Regaining her composure, she cleared her throat and called on him, bracing herself for a wrong answer. No one had gotten it right yet that day, and it was second-to-last period. She highly doubted he had the answer.

"John Hancock, ma'am. He signed it in extremely large letters, too, so that when King George saw it, his would be the first name to be seen. If it weren't for him, it's unlikely anyone else would've been brave enough to sign it as well."

_Well then. _

"Th-That's right," the teacher stammered. "Where did you learn this, young man?"

"Oh, from my friend. Platinum Berlitz. She reads a lot," was the cheery reply.

_That's a load of bull, _Sapphire thought. _He's the one who taught Platinum about that._

She faintly recalled a scene from the two weeks before school started, when they were just moving in. Ruby had found a book on the Declaration of Independence, and having no one else to talk to about it, started spouting a ton of info to Platinum, who happened to also be the only one who cared. Sapphire had been in the corner, raiding the cookie jar.

She shot him a loaded look. The look said, _You're lying._

He replied with another look. _I don't want them to think I'm a nerd._

She stared at him. _You are a nerd._

_Not really._

_Uh, yeah, you are._

_No, I'm not! I design clothes! _

_So? _

_I just happen to like to read, that's all._

_Whatever._

How in the world they could argue even without talking was beyond Sapphire, but she simply shrugged it off.

At that moment, the bell decided to ring, and class was dismissed. Ruby stuffed his notebook in his backpack and tried to take off before the inevitable happened. He didn't succeed.

Sapphire held out her hand. "Hand 'em over."

"No."

"You want me to beat you up, sissy boy?"

"You wouldn't really beat me up, wild girl."

She punched him in the arm, and while he was gasping, stole his notes.

"That's evil," he said, running to catch up to her. She flipped through the notebook, scanning his impossibly neat handwriting, ignoring him.

"Take your own flipping notes," Ruby snapped, attempting to steal the notebook back.

"I can't. The material makes me sleepy."

"Well, how is that my problem? Give it back!"

"No way."

He didn't really mind her stealing his notes, she knew. It was a game they often played, back in their hometown.

"Whatever, idiot," he sighed. "What class do we have next?"

"How am I supposed to know? You're the nerd."

"I am not a nerd! I simply enjoy the act of reading, which you, being the daughter of a scientist, should enjoy too!"

"I'm not like my dad, you should know that."

"Whatever," he sighed for the second time in two minutes. Fishing his schedule out of his backpack, he flicked a glance at it, before his eyes widened and he stared openly at it in horror.

"What?" Sapphire asked. "What's wrong with you?"

"Our next class," he choked out. "This can't be possible."

"Can't be possible? What can't be possible?" She peeked at his schedule, and an evil grin spread across her face. "_Ohhh… _This is going to be _fun!"_

"Why," Ruby asked weakly, "do we have to do PE?!"

**I agree, Ruby. PE sucks. **

**John Hancock interests me. He's an interesting character. Or maybe it's just because Number Nine lives in the John Hancock building in Chicago. (Or at least, he used to, before the Mogs burned it down.)**

**Okay, some things to clear up: All the Dex Holders from Kanto to Hoenn are the same age, give or take a few months. The Sinnoh group is a year younger. I may or may not put in Black, White, Faitsu, Rakutsu, X, and Y, but they'll be the same age as the Sinnoh group if I do, unless I decide otherwise, in which case I'd tell you. So yeah, that's all cleared up now.**

**So, moving on. I can't decide, should Platinum end up with Diamond or Pearl? I honestly don't know, but I will also take votes saying neither. So drop me a review telling me what you guys want to see, and as always, majority rules!**

**Water, out**


	3. Green Becomes Afraid of Alarm Clocks

**So far, Diamond and Platinum is winning. You guys have until chapter four to vote!**

There is mad. Mad is like when you fail a test and your mom is mad at you.

Then, there is very mad. Very mad is like what would happen if you socked a guy in the face for absolutely no reason and was sent home.

After that is angry. Angry is how you would feel if someone insulted your best friend.

Even after that, there is furious. Furious is what would happen if someone actually physically hurt said best friend.

And then…there is Crystal mad, which deserves a whole new category of its own.

Crystal mad was what Gold happened to be on the receiving end of.

Platinum winced as the shrieking and punching in the next room grew louder. "Do you think that we should help them?"

"Nah, they'll figure it out on their own," Blue replied cheerfully, recording the whole scenario on one of her incredibly tiny cameras.

"STUPID…IDIOT…I TOLD YOU HOW MANY TIMES…"

"Ten bucks says Gold won't be able to sit down for a week," Emerald commented after a short pause.

Nobody took the bet. Blue probably would have, but she was busy recording the fight.

"OW! SUPER SERIOUS GAL! NOOOO! SOMEBODY SAVE ME!"

Green sighed. "Idiot."

Yellow glanced worriedly at the door. "Um, Crystal? Please try not to send him to the hospital, we really don't have the money to pay the bills…"

This statement was lost in all the yelling, however, Yellow's maximum volume being what it is. (Seriously, that girl talks WAY too quietly.)

And then Ruby and Sapphire burst in.

"Whoa," Pearl commented, staring at the two. "What happened to you?"

"Dodgeball," Ruby gasped.

Sapphire grinned from beside him. "THAT WAS THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER!"

Ruby rounded on her. "Are you kidding me? That was the most horrible thing ever! Did you see the size of that one guy?! He hit me in the stomach and the face at the same time and I STILL had to play because you couldn't hit above the waist! So then he whacked me in the…" He shuddered.

Sapphire snickered. "You're such a wimp."

"I AM NOT A WIMP!"

"Oh, please, you're whining about a tiny little ball whacking you."

"That ball was huge! What're you talking about, idiot?!"

"Idiot? At least I didn't sit down on the ground and start crying like a _baby…"_

"What're you talking about?! I didn't start crying!"

"Uh, yes, you did. I stole your teddy bear, and – "

"THAT WAS FIRST GRADE!"

Everyone except the two let out a sigh as they continued their argument.

"Idiots," Green muttered for the second time, and Silver nodded in agreement.

Blue shut off her camera as Crystal stormed out of the living room, dragging Gold with her. He appeared to be unconscious.

She tossed him at a bewildered Silver, declaring, "Take the idiot to his room. And tell him I'm not talking to him until he submits a full apology to the art teacher. _Honestly. _If he keeps this up, the teachers are going to think we're all delinquents!"

"Well, technically, Gold _is _a delinquent," Blue pointed out rationally. Crystal's only reply was a death glare.

"Do we have any cookies?" Red asked brightly.

Everyone just stared at him.

"What?" he asked obliviously. "Do I have something on my face?"

"No," Pearl replied, looking exasperated. "But you do have a problem with your – "

"I have cookies!" Diamond interrupted, desperate to stop his best friend from finishing the sentence, which would possibly (more like probably) start another fight. He got a round of more stares for his trouble.

"I'll, uh, go get them!" He smiled just as brightly as Red and ran to the cupboard.

Silver silently got up, dragging Gold upside-down to his room, where he would then promptly dump the guy on the floor, where Gold would wake up an hour later wondering what the heck had happened to him.

And then Blue voiced the thought that was on everyone's minds:

"I'm SO FREAKING BORED!"

xXx

_Second day…_

Red's alarm rang.

And rang.

And rang.

And rang.

And rang.

Until finally, Green, who was now sharing a room with Red thanks to the microwave fiasco, got sick of the noise (the thing was on full volume!) and threw the alarm clock out the window.

But don't worry, kids, he made sure to open the window first, so the glass is fine! Slightly smudged, but mostly okay.

However, the same cannot be said for the alarm clock. It crashed and exploded into a mass of tiny little alarm clock parts, three stories down.

Obviously, Red slept through the entire thing.

Green stomped over to his rival, exasperated, and slapped him across the face. He still didn't wake up.

He went down to the kitchen, where Diamond was making breakfast, and got a wet fish. Nobody questioned him, he was Green after all. Scary guy.

He slapped Red with it. No response.

He got a bucket of water and drenched Red with it. Still no response.

He added ice. See above.

Just when Green was starting to suspect that Red had possibly somehow died in his sleep or was comatose, and that he should sorta kinda maybe call the hospital, the boy woke up.

Red blinked. "Why am I wet? And why do I stink of fish?"

He looked around. "And where's my alarm clock? How come it didn't ring?"

Green decided not to answer. It was easier for everyone that way.

He shrugged, put the fish in the bucket and carried it downstairs, stashing it inside the fridge. Breakfast was pancakes. Diamond was a surprisingly good cook.

As they all headed out the door, a beeping sound was heard, and Green instantly froze.

_SWEET CUPCAKES! IT'S THE ALARM CLOCK! IT'S ALIVE!_

Red took his phone out of his pocket and held it up to his ear, clueless to the trauma he had just put his rival through.

"Oh, hi, Misty!"

Green was afraid Yellow was going to drop dead right there, she looked so horrified.

And then Blue stepped in.

Plucking the phone from Red's hand ("HEY!") she started talking.

"Oh, hi, Misty, it's Blue! Listen, Red can't talk right now. You mind chatting to me instead?"

"But I _can – "_

Red received a death glare equivalent to one of Crystal's and gulped. "N-Never mind. Go on."

"Hmm? Why can't he talk?" Blue flicked a glance at Green. The glance said, _Help._

Green sighed and mimicked going to the bathroom. However, we're talking about a guy who's never won a charades game in his life. (Mainly because he's never played charades in his life, but that's another matter altogether.)

Blue squinted. "He's…busy swatting bees."

Green glared at her. She stared back, completely clueless to what he'd been trying to tell her.

"Swatting bees? Even I could come up with a better lie than that," Gold commented, disgusted. "Come on, Blue, you're supposed to be a former thief, can't you – "

Both Blue and Silver glared at him. Blue had spent a year or so as a juvenile delinquent, but now that she was back on the straight and narrow (somewhat), any mention of that time was slightly taboo. Meaning that while Crystal wouldn't beat you up for it, it was still slightly impolite to mention.

"Yeah, that's right. Swatting bees," Blue said, resuming her conversation with Misty. "Why? Oh, because he ran into a hive on accident… Yes, that _is _the type of thing he would do, isn't it?"

She paused. "Is he all right? Um…"

She glanced at Red, who was perfectly healthy and bee-less. "He'll need some medicine for the stings, but he'll be fine. Yup. Okay. Bye!"

She hung up.

"Hey, I didn't get to talk to her!" Red complained. "And give me my phone back!"

Blue tossed him the phone. "Here. And you don't get to talk to her because you're busy swatting bees."

"But I didn't run into any – "

"Yes, you did!" she snapped. "And you will tell Misty so the next time you talk to her, or I'm putting those pictures of you on the internet! Remember Photos K37 to K43?"

Red paled. "All right, all right! Don't leak the pictures!"

"I won't if you obey," Blue replied sweetly.

Red shook his head. "I don't get you girls at all."

He walked on ahead and started up a conversation about video games with Gold. Blue sighed.

"He's so clueless."

Yellow spoke up for the first time since the phone call. "Um, Blue…?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"No problem, Yellow." Blue patted her friend on the head, smiling. "All part of the job."

**What are photos K37 to K43? To be revealed later…or not.**

**Hey, so pick your ship and vote, kay? PlatinumXDiamond still winning.**

**Seeya!**

**Water out**


	4. Gold Fails

**Why do people refer to Platinum as Platina? I mean, I get that it's the Japanese pronunciation, but you don't refer to any of the other characters by the Japanese pronunciation of their names. You don't call him Redo, you call him Red. It's not Ielo, it's Yellow. It's not Gurin, or Bulu, or Diamondo, or Curystarulu. Then why is it Platina/Purachina?**

**I've always wondered. Does anyone know?**

**Oh, well, on to the chapter!**

Anyone who knew Diamond could tell you he loved food.

Like, seriously.

The guy was obsessed with cooking, and food, and baking, and all that kind of stuff. Maybe it was because he was a supertaster. (The taste equivalent of perfect pitch.) Maybe it was because both his parents were bakers. Whatever the case, he adored food.

Especially cake. He had an unhealthy obsession with cake.

But there were two things that Diamond loved even more than food, and those were his best friend, Pearl, and Platinum Berlitz.

Which was why, when he found himself having to choose between the two, it didn't turn out very well.

"Diamond! Pearl wants you over there!" Emerald pointed. "Says it's urgent!"

Well, of course it was. Everything Pearl did was urgent. But Diamond was fine with that, and everything would've been okay if what happened next didn't happen.

"Hey, Dia! Platinum says she needs you in the living room!" Sapphire yelled from somewhere else in the house.

Diamond froze, then looked in both directions. "Uh."

"Ooh. Tough call, man." Gold nodded sympathetically from the kitchen table, where he was doing homework with a frustrated Crystal. Mostly because Gold somehow did not know how to multiply fractions.

"What do I do?" Diamond asked, looking at his senior with a desperate look in his eyes.

Gold shrugged. "Your decision. Who do you like better?"

"You're not helping," he muttered, then sighed. "Well, Pearl did say it was urgent…"

"Pearl says everything is urgent," Gold countered, which _really _wasn't helping matters.

Crystal whacked him. "Concentrate on math, you idiot, not drama! You're going to fail, you know that?!"

He rubbed his head, scowling. "Fine, whatever! You don't have to get all violent on me!"

"Shut up and solve this problem! What is the square root of one hundred times five…"

Diamond left them to the problem and called out, "Sorry, Platinum! I'll be there right after I help Pearl!"

"Oh… That's all right!" she called back. "I have managed to solve the problem!"

Oh. Well… That was good, right?

Then…how come he still felt like the problem still wasn't solved?

xXx

"Would it be in accordance with your desires to assist me in creating a structure in the general shape of a human male crafted entirely out of miniscule frozen particles of hydrogen oxide?"

Sapphire just stared at Ruby.

For a really long time.

Then she replied, "You want me to help you make a _bomb?"  
_

"What?" Ruby stared back. "A _bomb? _I was asking you if you wanted to build a snowman!"

"What? Then why didn't you just _say _so?"

"I did! I specifically inquired as to whether or not it would be in accordance with your desires to assist me in – "

Sapphire stopped him before her headache could grow any bigger. "Next time, ask me in _English. _I don't understand Nerd."

"The dialect is known as _Smart, _which apparently, you aren't."

"And the dialect I'm speaking is _Normal, _which apparently, _you _aren't."

Green's headache intensified as the two kept arguing.

And. Would. Not. Stop.

Seeing as her senior looked ready to bash both Ruby and Sapphire's faces in with the nearest object he could get, Crystal stepped in.

"Hey, come on. Quit arguing. We came here to have fun, you know."

"Well, how're we supposed to have fun when he's being all weird and nerdy?" Sapphire complained.

"She's too dumb to know how to have fun," Ruby put in.

"Can't you two just get along for – "

"Here, let me handle it," Blue interrupted. She turned to the two and smiled sweetly.

Both Ruby and Sapphire gulped.

"Now, if you continue to be difficult – "

"We're sorry!" Ruby squeaked. "We won't fight anymore! Best friends, see?"

"Yup! Couldn't get along any better!" Sapphire hurriedly agreed.

"Well, then. That's good. Go build your snowman now."

"Y-Yes ma'am!"

Crystal watched them go, shaking her head. "I don't know how you do it."

"A former life of crime can be quite useful when used the right way," was the reply. "Well, I'm off. There's a slight defect in Red's sled. I need to fix it."

"Really? I didn't notice anything."

"Oh, it's not the type of thing you would notice, Crys. The problem is that Yellow isn't on it."

"…oh."

"Yeah." Blue waved. "Oh, and Gold's calling you. He's over there."

She took off, leaving Crystal in the snow, debating whether or not to actually listen to her.

The group had decided (it was Gold's idea) to go out and sightsee. The trip had ended up at the park, where the snow was piled deep, perfect for sledding. So, being them, it was instantly decided that sledding was a brilliant idea.

But then again, when Gold was involved, almost anything could be turned instantly into a bad idea.

"HEY, SILVER, CRYS!" Gold's voice yelled. "WATCH THIS!"

Silver somehow materialized at Crystal's side as she whirled around to face Gold.

"Oh dear," was all she said.

Gold was on top of a _tree._ (Don't even ask me how that happened.) He had somehow constructed a ramp of sorts by dragging the slide over (again, I have no idea how) and piling some rocks and stuff under it to make it higher (stuff including Silver's sled, which no one was even supposed to know he _had). _He was obviously about to go down it on his sled (while standing up, no less), which would undoubtedly result in broken bones and calling 911.

Or absolute glory and all that good stuff, if he survived – but the chances of that were about one in a hundred.

"GET DOWN FROM THERE, YOU IDIOT!" Crystal shrieked at the very top of her lungs.

Silver just facepalmed at his rival's complete and utter idiocy.

The others regarded this scene with a mixture of fascination and/or horror and/or disgust and/or exasperation.

"He's dead," Emerald declared flatly.

"Should we…help him?" Yellow asked.

"Mental help? Definitely," Pearl said darkly.

Blue immediately took out her camera and began filming it.

At which point Gold decided to just get it over with and slide before anyone started calling him a chicken.

Crystal screamed as gravity took over.

And, of course, as you've probably guessed by now, 911 was dialed by the end of this fiasco.

xXx

"I like chocolate chip pancakes, but blueberry's yummy too."

The doctor looked from Gold to his friends. "And how exactly did this happen?"

"Sledding accident," they all replied simultaneously.

"But sometimes, if you just have the normal pancake and add syrup, that's good too," Gold went on to say.

Crystal looked as if she didn't know whether to cry or strangle him.

"I have the video," Blue put in helpfully.

The doctor stared at her like she was speaking Gibberish. (Or Smart, or Latin, or Greek, or any of those languages very few people understand.)

"Waffles are yummy also. Especially the kind with chocolate chips. I really like chocolate chips."

… Yeah, if you haven't noticed, Gold had ended up with a bit of a concussion. Plus a broken arm, a sprained ankle, and multiple scratches and bruises.

He probably wasn't going to be doing PE anytime soon. (Lucky duck.)

Crystal, deciding that strangling him could possibly and would probably make the problem worse, buried her face in her hands and tried not to cry.

"Do you like pancakes? Yes, I like pancakes. Do you like waffles? Yes, I like waffles," Gold sang off-key.

"That's so pathetic it kind of hurts," Sapphire commented, eyes wide.

"Do you like French toast… Wait, no I don't like French toast…"

Silver reached over and patted his rival on the back, which was actually quite sympathetic for Silver. But then again, this was pretty sad.

"Um," Yellow began timidly. "I'm sorry for bothering you, but do you know when this is going to stop?"

The doctor glanced at the clock. "In, oh, about three…two…one…"

At which point Gold just passed out.

"He should be up in about half an hour," the doctor informed them, then left the room, probably to treat some patient who had gotten hurt in some normal way, like falling off a ladder or something.

Diamond broke the silence.

"So, uh, while we're waiting, can we at least get some cake or something? I'm starving."

And, because cake is awesome, they immediately did.


End file.
